Ways to Get Kicked out of Walmart With DX
by Varmint
Summary: DX has always loved causing mischief and trouble for their boss, Vince McMahon, and now they're doing it the one way Vince begged them not to... Getting Superstars and corrupting them. Now, one by one, each Superstar will fall and get kicked out of Walmart. And now, DX has their eyes set on the Long Island Iced Z, Zack Ryder!
1. Chapter 1

_1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them._

_2. Grab a ninja toy and whack an employee with it saying "ATTACK, GRASSHOPPER, ATTACK!"_

_3. Find a Dora the Explorer toy, put it in a random place and when someone picks it up, say "Swiper, no swiping!"_

_4. Put on a plastic bag and say "I'm winning!"_

_5. Stand in a shopping cart, spread your arms and start yelling, "I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYY, I BELEIVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYY!"_

_6. Play Demolition Derby with a friend and see who can knock down the most items with a shopping cart._

_7. Pick up a Barbie doll and start singing "Barbie Girl" by Aqua and dance. _

_8. Steal an employee's nachos and say "Aww, for me? You're TOO kind!"_

_9. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares,…" and see what happens._

_10. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away._

Sheamus read the list over and over again, wondering just why Kaitlyn had given it to him, only to continue drawing blanks. Why in the Sam Heck would the Diva give this to him?

_11. Get on the loud speaker and declare a "Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off"_

_12. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times. _

_13. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'. _

_14. Move a 'CAUTION – WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out __10. Set up a tent in the camping department._

_15. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?_

_16. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"_

_17. See what you can "catch" by casting fishing poles into different isles._

_18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in._

_19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field._

_ 20. Try to get people to race you across the store._

"What am I s'possed ta do with this?" Sheamus asked himself, staring blankly at the paper.

Just then Triple H and Shawn Michaels walked into the cafeteria, heading straight towards Sheamus, who seemed to be concentrating deeply on a paper. While they were supposed to not corrupt any of the younger talents with their evil ways, the members of DX couldn't help but want to get Sheamus in on their mischief.

"Hey, Ginger Snap, what's up?" Triple H asked, sitting down next to the Irishman.

Shawn snatched the list from him and snickered as he read it.

_21. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department._

_22. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get_

_23. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up_

_24. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up._

_25. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store._

_26. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself._

"What are you doing with a paper like this, Sheamus? Thinking of getting arrested?" Hunter asked, making the man glare at him.

"I'll have ye know, Kaitlyn gave this ta me... Don't know why, but don't be blamin' me." Sheamus answered, then noticed the sly smirk that had crept up on Shawn's face.

"Hunter, know what I'm thinking?" He asked, looking at his partner in crime with an evil glint in his eye.

Hunter looked from Sheamus to him, then grabbed the list and read it over. As he read it, his own smirk started to grow, and he said, "If you're thinking what I'm thinking, Shawny, we're going to need more than an Irishman."

Shawn squeaked in excitement, jumped up, and announced, "I know the perfect people for the job!"

But, before he could run off, Hunter grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him back down. "Whoah, wait a little, Shawn. Raw hasn't finished filming and Vince told us that we couldn't get the younger guys into too much trouble."

Shawn pouted at his words, and seemed to be about to say something, but just then Zack Ryder, John Cena, and Randy Orton walked in. The trio walked towards Sheamus' table, greeting the three men.

"What's up, old timers?" John asked, Zack sitting down next to Sheamus and Randy next to him.

Hunter glared at him, while Shawn only pouted. "You don't have to be so mean, John. Who was there for you when you go the fever?"

John sighed as Shawn started to Guilt Trick him, while Zack wanted to hear what Shawn had to say and Randy rolled his eyes. He had heard the story too many times to even be interested by it.

"Nobody but me and Hunter, and we made sure that you were good enough for your elimination chamber! And you repay us by insulting and disrespecting us?" Shawn now had his arms crossed as he scolded John. "Know what, you're on time out! Go sit in the corner!" He pointed at the farthest corner of the cafeteria, John's eyes widening at this.

"What? You're not my dad! You can't just tell me-" John started to protest, only for Hunter to cover his mouth.

"John, please listen to Shawn. You're on time out until further notice." And with that John walked away, grumbling about unfair Hall of Famers.

Zack could only smile after his friend, then turned to Sheamus, who now had the list in his hands once more. "What's that, bro?" He asked, snatching it away.

He read over it, and his smile slowly grew as he did so. Randy wondered what was going on, but Hunter asked him, "Are there any Walmarts near by?"

Randy raised an eyebrow at the question, then found Zack and Sheamus being hugged tightly by Shawn. "Oh, can we take both of them with us, Hunter? Oh, please, oh please, oh, please!"

"What's going on?" Randy asked them, not quite sure what was going on.

"Zack, are you okay with going with us to Walmart?" Hunter asked, making him smile widely and nod.

"Any time, bro!"

Sheamus now tried to wriggle out of Shawn's grasp, only for Zack to hug him, too. "I'm not going with ye, ya crazies! I don't want ta get arrested!"

Randy's eyes widened at this, but before he could ask, John walked back towards them. "What's the list about?"

Shawn smacked his head, then growled, "Time out, Jonathan! Now you've given yourself an extra five minutes!"

John rubbed the back of his head as he crawled back towards his corner, an anime black cloud over him as he silently sobbed inside.

Shawn straightened out his hair after John went back, and said, "Well, because he's on time out, we'll just be taking Sheamus, Zack, and Randy with us, and we can leave Kane or Show taking care of John."

"Wait, where are you taking me?" Randy asked, looking from Hunter to Shawn, then back again.

Both men shared evil smirks, and said, "Walmart, Randal. Walmart." At the same time.

**Well, I need a means of getting rid of writer's block, and it seems that Humor always does that to me. So, a fanfiction where we can see DX getting different Superstars (and maybe Divas) in trouble with the Ways to get Kicked out of Walmart list.**

**One review and I'll update tomorrow.**


	2. Chapter 2

Once Shawn and Hunter were able to tie Sheamus up and throw him inside the car, and Zack and Randy had gotten inside willingly, the DX members had picked up their midget in crime, Hornswoggle, and were off to Walmart. As soon as they had reached the parking lot, Sheamus had tried running away, and actually made it a few steps before Hunter threw Hornswoggle at him, who tackled him to the ground.

"Get off of me, ya midget!" Sheamus struggled, only to have Zack sit on his back, right next to Hornswoggle. "Get off!"

And last came Randy, sitting on his legs, managing to completely pin the Irishman beneath the three. While Sheamus cursed at them, Randy cursed at him, Zack argued with himself, and Hornswoggle grunted and growled.

As they fought, they didn't noticed Shawn and Hunter smiling at them.

"Aw, come on, Hunt. Let's adopt 'em!" Shawn grasped Hunter's shirt, staring deeply into the other man's eyes.

Hunter pursed his lips at this, and said, "We'll talk about it later, now explain what we're going to do."

Shawn jumped up in happiness, then turned to the four men on the floor, whistling loudly. "Okay, now that Sheamus has been subdued," He glared pointedly at the man, who returned it. "We can finally explain what we're going to be doing in Walmart. First things first, Hornswoggle, you and Zack are going to team up with Sheamus while me and Hunt'll take Orton with us."

"The objective of the game is to gain points because of doing crazy shit in Walmart. Seeing how we have a list from the lovely Kaitlyn, it's going to be easier for you." Hunter started, gaining the attention from the men on the road.

"We have to do everything and anything we can to disrupt the peace while not getting caught. It can range from moving products around to setting off the fire alarm." Shawn told them, smiling at Hornswoggle as the leprechaun tried to bite Sheamus' shoe.

"You gain points by how evil what you did is. The most points you can get are ten, but to get there you have to do something that really is bat-shit crazy." Hunter explained, smiling at some of the memories that came to mind. "Any questions?"

Zack raised his arm, eyes wide in a way that made him look almost innocent.

"Yes. The boy with the dyed blonde hair?" Shawn asked him, which made Zack's smile falter a little.

He quickly recovered from it and smiled brightly once more. "What does the winner get?"

While Hunter didn't notice the small change in Zack's demeanor, Shawn had seen it, and was somewhat worried about it. But he chose to talk with the boy later and answer his question. "Well, there won't be a winner for this set of games or the next, seeing how this is a kind of competition. The team with the most points by the end of the season is the winner, and we'll figure out the prize by that time."

The men all nodded at this, then Hornswoggle grasped Zack's hand and pushed Randy off of Sheamus. "Go!" He grunted, and started to try to haul Sheamus away.

Shawn and Hunter smiled at the midget they had come to treat as their child, then Hunter grasped Randy's arm. "Come on, Junior. You're stuck with us old timers."

And with that both groups took off running to Walmart, Sheamus costing his team time by letting them drag him along instead of running with them.

"Move, Ginger Snap! Move!" Zack yelled at him as they arrived in the toy section.

Soon enough, Hornswoggle met up with them with a shopping cart, his legs dangling cutely as an employee helped him to where his friends where.

"Here you go, Mr. 'Swoggle!" The teen said in a cheerful voice, smiling at the small leprechaun as he grunted his own thanks.

"Hey, 'Swoggle! What's up?" Zack asked, walking over to her while holding on tightly to Sheamus' wrist.

"Ye don't have ta drag me around, Ryder..." Sheamus growled, but was ignored by the three people.

Zack smiled at the girl, read her name tag, then adopted a sly smile. "Ms. Smith, I was told to tell you," He said, then leaned in close to her ear, whispering "Code 3 in housewares."

The teen's eyes widened in shock while she gasped and covered her mouth. "Who would tell you about that? Oh, dear God, civilians aren't supposed to know that!" She exclaimed, then heard someone calling her name.

"Smith! Where are you? We need help in gardening!"

She turned to where her manager was, then looked at Zack with wide and crazy eyes. "You never heard that code! Do not repeat it in any other store unless you want trouble!" She then scurried away, leaving Zack smirking.

The three looked after her, Zack in happiness, Sheamus in curiosity, and Hornswoggle with no emotion while he picked his nose.

"How much points is that, 'Swoggle?" Zack asked, making the man grunt while shrugging.

"Eh... Uh, uh, uh." He grunted, counting with his fingers. "Fihe!" He grunted, smiling at his friend.

Zack nodded slyly, then turned to Sheamus, "This is going to be easy once you get a drink, Ginger Snap."

* * *

"Three points, fella!" Sheamus yelled from outside the shopping cart while wearing a Clone Trooper helmet, Zack Ryder right next to him as they pushed them around.

"I know, bro! 'Swoggle, how many do we have now?" Zack asked the leprechaun that was sitting on top of top rack of the toy aisle.

"Eh..." Hornswoggle grunted, writing down on a small notebook he had. "Twenty fihe!" He announced, kicking his legs back and forth.

Zack fist pumped here, "Yeah! That's how we do it, bro!", then turned to Sheamus. "Let's go get some Dora dolls and misplace them! I'm tired of Demolition Derby!"

Sheamus giggled wildly, his eyes wide and his hair even crazier than normal. "We need some more rum, Zacky! And maybe some beer!" He announced, smiling in a crazed manner.

"Sure thing, Sheamus. Let's go, 'Swoggle." He said, leaving the cart where it lay. Because it had tipped over after he crashed into the last toys left standing.

Right now, the whole aisle was covered in fallen boy toys and different beer cans, due to Zack having given Sheamus some drinks to loosen him up.

Now Zack grabbed Hornswoggle from the top of the aisle, smiling as the leprechaun latched onto him. "I like you, too, 'Swoggle. I like you too." He said, petting the smaller man's hair.

"Come on, Ryder! I want ta mess with that Lame Explorer, Dora!" Sheamus said in a crazed manner, grasping both Zack and Hornswoggle and throwing them on his back.

Some way or another, he took off running with both of them on his back, laughing in a deranged manner as he did so. As he passed the Gardening section, they missed their comrades in crime getting in trouble with the fuzz, but that's a story for another chapter.

**One review and I'll update tomorrow.**


	3. Chapter 3

''  
The first thing Randy, Shawn, and Hunter did once they had arrived in the gardening section was find a sucker for their plan.

"I say we do it to him." Randy whispered, the three of them huddled together in the middle of the aisle.

He was pointing at a fat man that reminded all of them of Paul Heyman, but he didn't have the stupid ponytail. He was picking out some hedge clippers at the moment, but none of the wrestlers thought about those being used as a weapon against them.

"Fine, Orton, but you take something from _her_ cart." Shawn told him, pointing at a bleach blond that had more skin showing than clothing.

She was speaking with an obnoxious voice to someone on the phone, which only allowed Randy more time to do the mischievous thing he was going to do.

"Easy as pie."

He crept towards the woman's cart and picked out some of her bra's, a packet of tampons, a packet of other 'womanly' things, and a girly magazine with Zack Ryder on the cover.

"Radio Magazines Hottest Guy of the Television?" He asked himself, reading from the magazine. "I'll never understand women." He whispered, shaking his head.

With that he crept back towards the man's cart, dropped the things in, picked out a 'Manly' magazine, some cigarettes and cheap hair gel, and silently made his way back to the woman's cart. There, once he made sure she was still distracted with her phone, he dropped the things in and smirked at Shawn and Hunter.

"How many points is that?" He whispered, creeping back towards them.

"Well, it's two people you did it to. With three items on Walrus and four on Barbie, and with how they're going to start yelling at the employees..." Hunter muttered, then smiled, "That's six points."

The three men high fived, then Shawn said, "Come on, I'm starving."

Both Hunter and Randy shared a look, wondering where Shawn led them towards, but quickly smiled as they saw an employee eating nachos at the end of a bike aisle.

"I'll do this," He said, walking away, but quickly coming back. "Get ready to run." He warned, then went to the employee that was eyeing him while munching.

"How may I help you?" The man said, albeit reluctantly.

Shawn smiled sweetly at him, then quickly grabbed the nachos from his hand and dipped a handful in cheese. "Thank you, man! I'm starving!" He said, then smashed the food into his mouth.

The man only stared at Shawn as the taller ate his food, his eyes wide in shock and disappointment... "Those are my nachos!" He yelled after Shawn's second serving, making the other raise an eyebrow.

"Really, man? Don't you think you should've told me that before you gave them to me?" Shawn asked, acting as if he were annoyed by the man's stupidity.

"Dude! You just stole the nachos! From my hand!"

Shawn only smiled a cheesy smile, and said, "Oh, well, see ya later, partner!" With that he took off running, Randy and Hunter following after a few steps behind.

They laughed as they ran, none of them believing what had just happened. "How many points is that, Hunt?" He asked once they were far away enough from the screams of the employee they had left behind.

As he laughed, he gasped out, "Four points!"

Randy chuckled after this, and said, "That makes it eleven points. We're going to beat those slackers in no time."

After they were done with this, Hunter smirked, ran to the front desks and grabbed an M&M's, then went to the lay away desk.

"What are you going to do, Hunt?" Shawn asked, a little out of breath after all the running.

He smirked at his friends, then said, "Oh, you'll see, Shawny, you'll see."

With that he greeted the woman, then, with a very serious face, said, "I would like to put these M&M's in lay away, please."

The woman looked from him to the candy with a shocked face, but before she could say anything, three security guards walked up to them, another three holding onto a hyper and happy Sheamus, a calm Zack, and a struggling Hornswoggle.

"Excuse me, Marta, but we'll be needing your customers to be leaving." The tallest one said in a deep voice, the movement his moustache made whenever he spoke making Shawn chuckle. "Is there anything funny, Sir?"

Shawn hid his mouth behind his hand, and shook his head. "Nothing at all, Mister Cop Sir."

The man nodded, his sunglasses glinting dangerously, then turned to the rest. "We'll be needing you to leave if you do not want to go to jail."

The members of DX frowned at this, looked at each other, then smirked. "Boys, how about doing something that'll give both teams points?"

The three men wondered what it was while Hornswoggle nodded crazily. "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

Then, before any of the guards could make sense of what was happening, Hunter threw Randy at the three free ones while Shawn kicked the chins of the rest. "Run, boys!" Hunter yelled, grabbing Randy in a fireman carry while running away.

Hornswoggle kicked the guard that carried him with glee, clapped some, then was whisked away by Zack. "Let's go, Leprechaun!"

The men ran towards the front of the store, Sheamus giggling wildly as he picked up random stuff he wanted at the moment, and laughed once they reached the car.

"I can't believe we did that to some cops!" Zack said, putting Hornswoggle down on his feet.

"I can!" Shawn yelled back, smiling at the boys.

Hunter finally put Randy down, who was rubbing at his shoulders. "I can't believe you threw me at them as if I were collateral or something."

Hunter only nudged him, and while smiling, said, "Oh, come on, boy, you can't be that surprised."

Randy looked up at him with his own smile, then agreed. "You're right, I'm not. You've done worse."

"Come on, boys. We have to go before those fatsoes get to their right senses." Shawn told them, getting into the passengers seat.

One by one they all piled in, Hunter in the drivers seat. The only noise in the car was Sheamus' giggles as he ate his pixie sticks.

"Hey, Hunt?" Shawn asked as they reached a red light, curious about something.

Hunter looked at him, "Yeah?"

"What happened to the M and M's?" He asked.

Hunter smirked at him, then slowly produced the bag he had tried to put on lay-away. "If I want something, then gosh darn it, I will have it."

And with these words, everyone in the car broke into fits of laughter.

**Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

The day after the wrestlers were run out of Walmart was a pretty normal day, and so was the whole week, but all hell broke loose on the next recording of RAW. Tonight the gang from Walmart were together once again, and they were all lounging in the same locker room with John Cena.

"So you guys decided to play the Game in Walmart? Man, it sucks that I was grounded." John told them, leaning against the wall as the gang told him about what they did.

"Yeah, Bro! It was awesome!" Zack told him, smiling happily as Hornswoggle hung on to his pant leg. "I mean, Hunter stole a bag of M and M's and Sheamus got high off of sugar!"

Sheamus was sitting backwards in a plastic chair, holding onto the back of it while smiling sadly. "Johnny Boy, whatever ye do, don't ever go with these crazy men. We didn't go ta jail 'cause of pure luck."

John only smiled and shook his head, but all talking stopped as a stage hand knocked on the door.

"Come on in, Stage Hand Person!" Shawn called, smiling cheekily at the glare that Randy sent him.

"Really, Shawn? 'Stage Hand Person'?"

Shawn only shrugged as the man opened the door and looked at Zack. "Mr. Ryder, you're fight against Big E.'s up next."

Zack nodded and pushed Hornswoggled off, picked him up and placed him on Hunter's lap. "I'll be there in a minute."

The man nodded and left the wrestlers, leaving Zack smiling.

"Zack, I want you to be careful." Hunter told him, carrying Hornswoggle as a baby as he got up to speak with Zack.

Zack smiled and nodded, then told him, "Don't worry, bro. I know that he's a tough one, but really, he's not like Ryback, he's not a monster."

The cheerful atmosphere in the room had left as soon as the man told Zack who he had to fight, leaving most of the wrestlers frowning and worried.

"Zack, we're not really worried about him being a monster," John told him, his face compassionate as he pushed off from the wall. "We're worried about what might happen to you. You're a good wrestler, but he's still pretty much a rookie and a mistake from his part could cost you your career."

Zack's smile vanished a little, and he tried to get it back, but it was lop-sided. "Don't worry, Bro. I'll be fine. You'll see, once I get out of here and John has his match, we'll be able to go out and buy some ice cream to celebrate Sheamus finally being less uptight."

And with that he left the room in a hurry, not really wanting to hear his friends tell him what could happen. He was an adult, a good wrestler... scratch that, a _damn_ good wrestler, and he knew what he was doing. A rookie wasn't going to bring him down easily, not even a tough one like Big E. He stood in Gorilla position, psyching himself up, then pulled off his trademark smile and got ready to fight.

* * *

As the group watched the fight, they were mostly happy that it ended so fast, but they were somewhat disturbed at the fact that Big E. stayed on top of Zack for so long.

"What's that guys problem?" Shawn asked, frowning after the beating Zack took.

Hunter and Randy were busy restraining Hornswoggle from trying to run away and attack Big E., but Hunter grunted, "Maybe he likes to feel 'em up."

John and Sheamus cringed at this, then John said, "That guy gives me bad vibes. And I'm not trying to ruin the guy's reputation or anything, but I'm sometimes worried about what he might do."

Sheamus nodded as he saw his friends restraining the midget, and was about to say something, but Michael Cole speaking cut him off.

_"King, what is Big E. doing? Didn't he already win?"_

Quickly the Irishman turned back to the television, only to see Big E. standing over Zack with a predatory look in his eye. "What's the fella doin'?"

None of the men in the room answered, also wondering what was going on, but it didn't take long before they were answered.

_"No! Not another Big Ending!"_ King exclaimed, seeing Zack being placed on the black man's shoulder.

It happened in almost slow motion, but Big E. threw himself on the ground, Zack on his shoulder, smirking evilly. Zack coughed violently and tried to roll away, only to have the man grab him once more.

_"This just isn't humane! Two Big Endings and now a third? Why would Big E. be doing this?" _Michael asked, the commentator feeling sick as he saw Zack trying to wiggle away in a futile manner.

_"Maybe he's makin' a name for himself, Cole. That's what he ought to be doing if you ask me." _JBL said, making King glare at him.

_"Well, JBL, nobody asked you, did they?"_

And Big E. fell once more, Zack looking closer to unconsciousness now. "Shouldn't someone stop this?" Sheamus asked in disbelief, his eyes wide as he stared at the TV screen.

The black man stared down at the broken body of Zack, smirking sickly, and seemed to be about to pick him up once more, but a loud theme song playing stopped him.

_"Are you ready?__"_

_"King, is that-?"_ Cole asked, but was quickly answered as both Triple H and Shawn Michaels ran down the ramp and tried to attack Big E.

The black man ran away before any of them could touch him, and Shawn quickly tended to Zack. "Are you okay, kid?" He asked, touching his arm gingerly.

Zack only coughed and rolled on his side in pain, not even able to speak. Hunter was seething mad as he paced the ring, glaring at the smirking man as he retreated.

"Is he okay?" He asked through ground teeth, making Shawn look at him and shake his head. "Give me a mike!" He yelled at one of the employees, who quickly complied.

Hunter glared at nothing in particular, then raised the mike to his mouth. "DX is now back together, and Zack Ryder is a member. You hurt him, you hurt us, and Big E..." He drifted off, smirking evilly now. "When you hurt us, you get hurt worse."

And he dropped the mike, leaving the whole stadium roaring at the news. He and Shawn shared a look as medics came rushing with a stretcher, silently agreeing: Big E. was the first person they were going to get.

**Because we need a plot, I have added this! What, did you think it was going to be mindless fun and completely illegal things only? Please, you have to add _some_ story to it.**

**So sorry about not updating sooner, school has been hectic, but at least I wrote today! Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

After Big E.'s attack on Zack, most of his friends were on high alert... Well... Most but Hornswoggle. Sure, he was pissy and attacking anyone that spoke about Zack, but he was still trying to get the rest of the guys to have some fun. Right now he was tugging at Hunter's pant leg, trying to get his attention, while the older man glared at what was in front of him.

"Not now, Hornswoggle. I have to figure out if we use feathers or fire on Big E." Hunter told him, waving the leprechaun off.

Hornswoggle frowned at him, then kicked his shin and walked out of his office. Hunter looked up from the paper, noticed that Hornswoggle was finally gone, then shrugged. "Fire _would_ be dangerous... But then again, the bastard deserves the worst..."

While Hunter continued trying to figure this dilemma out Hornswoggle was trying to find someone to take him to Walmart. Yes, he still wanted to continue playing the game, and even more now that Zack was hurt. He just had to get more points for his team!

He looked high and low through the WWE, different stars either brushing him off, pushing him away, or making him leave in a nicer way. As he sulked through the halls of the locker room area, his pout increasing as the seconds passed by, Daniel Bryan and Kane walked by, but stopped when they noticed him.

"Hey, Hornswoggle, what's wrong?" Daniel asked, kneeling next to him and looking him in the eyes.

Hornswoggle was still pouting, his eyes reflecting his sadness, and he did a Triple H breathing motion. Daniel scrunched his eyes, trying to figure out what it was, which made Kane sigh. The tallest man there kneeled down, and asked, "Triple H, right?"

Hornswoggle nodded, then did a pushing motion. "Okay." Kane said, which made Hornswoggle continue doing his motions. Then he did a high kick, which made Kane continue nodding.

Hornswoggle continued doing different motions while Kane nodded, leaving Daniel to wonder what was going on. At the end of this game of charades Kane was frowning deeply, and Hornswoggle was fuming in anger.

"What's going on?" Daniel asked, looking from the leprechaun to the monster.

Kane scratched his chin as he got up, then looked down at his tag team partner. "Well, after Zack got attacked by Big E. Hunter and Shawn have been ignoring him, Sheamus, John, and Randy are busy looking after him, the rest of the wrestlers have pushed him away, and he has nothing to do and nobody will listen to him." Kane translated, which made Daniel's eyes widen.

Hornswoggle crossed his arms and nodded once, confirming Kane's tale. "You got all that from sporadic gestures?!"

Kane nodded at this, then did something unexpected and picked Hornswoggle up. "Hey, one of your favorite games was getting in trouble in Walmart, right?"

Hornswoggle nodded, a smile growing as he thought about what Kane could mean. "What are you thinking, Kane?" Daniel asked, also wondering what the older man thought.

The smirk that was sent his way made shivers go up his spine, mostly because nothing good ever came whenever Kane smirked. "Who gave you the most recent list, Hornswoggle?" Kane asked, completely ignoring Daniel.

"Hey! I'm right here, you know? The least you could do is answer me!" Daniel yelled at him, jumping up and down as Hornswoggle did his impersonation of Kaitlyn.

"Kaitlyn?" Kane asked, smirking on the inside as Daniel got madder. It was always fun to bother the Goat. "Makes sense... She's always doing something to get you in trouble. Wanna go get her?" He asked the leprechaun, who nodded.

"I'm still here, ya big oaf! Are you deaf or something?" Daniel yelled, jumping around in circles. "Right here! Here! Right! Here!" He pointed at himself, which made Kane roll his eyes.

"Shut up, Goat Face. Now come on, we have a Diva to kidnap."

With that Kane walked away from his partner, leaving Daniel with a confused face... "I thought Lita wasn't anywhere _near_ us today..."

* * *

After they had picked up Kaitlyn- more like ambushed her, tied her up, and thrown her into the car- the three men were off to Walmart, Hornswoggle finally smiling after a long period of sadness. Daniel still wasn't sure about what was going on, but allowed things to continue because he wanted to see what was going on. Who wouldn't when a monster tried to help a leprechaun get happy once more?

"Okay, so, Kaitlyn, I'm going to take this duct tape off your mouth, but you cannot scream." Kane told them after they had parked, the cover of the night shielding them from prying eyes.

They had the luck to run into a Walmart that was open 24 hours, which was perfect for them right now.

The Diva glared at him, but still nodded, not wanting to stay bound a second longer. Slowly Kane took off the tape, which made her hiss in pain. "Why are you kidnapping me, Kane? Did I somehow end up in your list of crushes?"

Kane rolled his eyes at the jab at his old loves, and said, "Of course not, Kaitlyn. You're here because Hornswoggle got a hold of your list and now we need to know what to do to make him happy... Besides, you're not my type."

Kaitllyn decided to ignore the last thing he said, then turned to Hornswoggle, who was now looking away from her, acting like his cute and shy self. "Aw, don't worry, 'Swoggle, I'll help you get in trouble in Walmart." She told him, then glared at Kane. "You could've said that first, and I would've gone with you without a fight."

Now this time Daniel popped in, smiling at her. "Now what would be the fun in that?"

Kaitlyn only shook her head at this, then said, "Let me free and I'll help."

As soon as all of the wrestlers were out of the car, Hornswoggle explained the game, and Kane translated for him.

"So, wait, does that mean you, me, and Kaitlyn are a team and Hornswoggle's gaining point for his own, or is he now our teammate?" Daniel asked, confused on this part.

Kane turned to Horswoggle, who gibbered and moved in his own way, then said, "He's going to be gaining points for his own team, but he'll also be helping us."

Daniel nodded, the smiled evilly and said, "I got dibs on super gluing stuff on the floor!" With that he took off running into Walmart, leaving the rest of the adults smiling after him.

"I'm going to do the least illegal thing on my list and watch some TV." Kaitlyn told Kane, who nodded. "Maybe you could scare the crap out of some people, big guy."

With that she also walked in, leaving Kane with Hornswoggle. Both men stared after her retreating form, then Hornswoggle tugged on Kane's pant leg. "What do you say we grab some carts, fill 'em with stuff, then leave them lying around?" Kane asked him, already walking to the carts.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Hornswoggle grunted happily, running ahead of him to climb onto the cart.

He stood up, raised his arms to his side, and grunted, "King of the world!" As Kane walked them around.

So, as these four cause havoc on this city's Walmart, let's have a recap: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Randy Orton are one team and they have twenty one points, Zack, Hornswoggle, and Sheamus are another and have twenty six points, Zack is out of commission because of an evil man, his friends are plotting against said man, and now Kane, Daniel Bryan, and Kaitlyn are a team... Wow... Those poor, unsuspecting employees...

"Daniel! Stop that! You don't hit employees with ninja stuff!" Kaitlyn scolded, stopping Daniel's attack on a sniveling man. "You do it with Nerf stuff!" She yelled, suddenly producing a Nerf sword and starting to smack that man with it. While Daniel hit him with nun chucks.

Again, those poor employees...

**Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

"Good news, Zacky!" Daniel announced as the three teammates walking into his room, throwing Sheamus to the side as they did so.

Zack sat up on the bed, his ribs hurting him as he did so, and asked, "What do you mean?"

Sheamus grumbled at them as he picked himself up and sat down on one of the plastic tables, somewhat annoyed at the wrestlers that had just entered. Daniel bounced onto Zack bed and sat down, while Kaitlyn and Kane just stood to the side.

"We have just entered the Walmart contest, Zacky boy!" Daniel exclaimed, making Zack's brain stop for a second.

Then he processed what the bearded man said and smiled brightly. "Really? That's awesome, bro! Now we can really hit up the Walmart's and win points!"

Daniel nodded excitedly, then Kaitlyn stepped forward. "Uh, guys? I'm sorry to tell you this, but our team can't go to Walmart for some time."

Zack and Sheamus looked at her questioningly, and Kane answered, "Daniel and Kaitlyn decided it would be a good idea to harass some employees with toy weapons, and now our pictures have been sent to every single Walmart in the United States and Canada saying that we're not allowed to return until next month."

Zack chuckled at this while Daniel pouted and Sheamus only shook his head. "Ye have one day alone, an' yer already the biggest enemies ta Walmarts in the US."

Kaitlyn only smiled sweetly at this, then turned as there was a knock on the door. "Come in." She called, not even giving Sheamus or Zack time to think about it.

In walked Hunter, Shawn, and John, Hunter carrying a happy Hornswoggle with him. "What's up, bros?" Zack asked, smiling as Hornswoggle climbed unto his lap.

Hunter also smiled at this, saying, "The doctor's say you're ready to go, we only have to sign some stuff then you can make it to tonight's RAW."

Zack seemed to get sad at this, but he quickly recovered when Hornswoggle tapped his shoulder and started gesturing their story, along with translations from Kane and commentary from Kaitlyn. As he saw this, Hunter smack Shawn and made them go outside.

"What's wrong, Hunt?" Shawn asked, wondering what was up with his best friend.

"I'm worried about Zack. I don't know, Shawny, but it's like he gets sad whenever we mention anything that has to do with WWE."

Shawn sighed and nodded, "You noticed too, huh?"

"What do you think this could be?" Hunter asked, now whispering as some doctors walked past them.

"Maybe he just needs a break. I mean, he went from having a title and getting good fights to losing to the worst of 'em. That's not an easy change, Hunt." Shawn told him, sounding extremely wise.

Hunter nodded, then smiled evilly. "I know that smile, Hunt, and nothing good ever comes out of it." Then Shawn smiled evilly too. "What are you thinking?"

"The kid just needs to cheer up! So I'm thinking we show him just how much fun someone can have backstage."

Shawn nodded, then said, "We'll need about five cans of whip-cream, four or five fake mustaches, a lot of those Brawling Buddies they're selling now-a-days, whoopie cushions, whistles, and some fake passports that say we're Mexican."

Hunter looked at him incredulously, then nodded. "Fine, I can get most of that stuff, but Mexican passports? Why do we need that for?"

Shawn sighed and shook his head, patting Hunter's shoulder. "I understand that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, Hunter, so I'll just tell you. We need those passports for if we get in trouble, we can run away to Mexico."

"Oh!" Hunter gasped, "You go ahead and start getting the stuff, and I'll work on springing Zack and getting some help."

Shawn nodded, then they both separated, Hunter smiling as he saw Daniel and Hornswoggle teaming against Sheamus.

"Okay, who's ready to leave?" He asked, then found Hornswoggle running into his arms while nodding and grunting. "I guess you are."

* * *

"Bro, where are we going?" Zack asked as he was lead down some halls blind-folded, the man steering him being none other than Triple H.

"That's a surprise, kid." Hunter answered, wearing a fake mustache.

"Yeah, and you can't ruin a surprise, Zack." Kaitlyn told him, wearing her own mustache.

Hunter had gone to her for help after they arrived in the stadium, to which she quickly agreed. Who would pass up a chance to wear a mustache? An idiot, that's who.

"Yeah, but this blind-fold itches." Zack told them, scratching his nose.

"Surprise!" Suddenly Shawn jumped out, holding one bag in each hand.

"Okay, Zack, open your eyes." Hunter told him, taking off the blindfold.

The first thing Zack saw was Shawn wearing a fake mustache, then he noticed the bags and the fact that he was back to wearing DX gear, but his mind was stuck on one fact.

"Why are you all wearing mustaches?"

Hunter shook his head at this, while Kaitlyn only smiled and smack one onto Zack's face. "Now you're wearing one, too!"

Zack looked down in shock at the toy, then looked up as Shawn wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Well, Zacky, to answer your unasked question, we're going to do everything possible to make you happy again."

Zack raised an eyebrow at this, then found Shawn shoving the bags into his hands. "Pick your poison, Pretty Boy!"

He only looked inside, not wanting to spur any more of the groups insanity, and found some objects that he wondered just what they were doing there. "A Rey Mysterio Brawling Buddy?" He asked, raising it.

And Kaitlyn quickly snatched out of his hands, "He chose the Buddies! Quick, who do we attack?"

"Whoah! Attack?" Zack asked, only to be ignored.

"We're not going to simply attack someone, Kaitlyn." Shawn started, followed by Hunter. "We are going to scar them so horribly that they're going to run away from whichever wrestler the buddy belongs to."

Kaitlyn nodded, then Zack asked, "What are we going to do now?"

Hunter and Kaitlyn growled at him, then Shawn stepped forward. "Let me do this, guys. I don't want you killing the person we're trying to cheer up. Zack, come here." He lead the younger man to the side, all the while Hunter and Kaitlyn spoke about battle tactics.

"Zack, we're going to prank someone in here with those Brawling Buddies; which are the weapons you picked out; while wearing our awesome disguises so nobody can recognize us."

The first thought that crossed Zack's mind was that the old timers had finally lost it. The second one was that he should run away and call the police, but he did neither, seeing how Kaitlyn grabbed them and dragged them towards the locker rooms.

"Okay, we've decided who we're going to prank!" She announced, then lifted a Dolph Ziggler Buddy.

Zack cocked his head and asked, "But isn't Ziggler out?"

She smacked him over the head with the toy, and Hunter said, "We're going to prank AJ, Zack. All the while using the Dolph dolls to really drive her crazy."

"Oh." Zack said, then asked, "Aren't we going to get in trouble with Mr. McMahon?"

"Not unless nobody recognizes us. And there's no way they will, seeing how our disguises are so awesome!" Shawn said, jumping up because of how happy he was right now.

"They're only mustaches! There's no way nobody's _not_ going to recognize us!"

"Hush up if you don't want to get hurt."

And Zack stayed quiet as he was dragged away, quietly regretting leaving the hospital with these nutjobs.

**Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, first of all I want to apologize for not updating sooner, but the inspiration for this story left me. Also, I want to say that now I'll be focusing on a different wrestler each chapter, and this will most probably be the last one with Zack Ryder being 'corrupted'.**

**Please enjoy~**

"Why in the world did I every agree to this?" Zack asked himself as he hid inside a locker, trying his best to control his breathing.

"Don't know, dude. But maybe you're brain has finally fried." John answered from the outside, getting ready to leave the arena.

"It's all DX's fault, bro. They made me do it!" Zack hissed at him, glaring his best through the slits in the locker door.

"Zack, you cannot be controlled by a couple o' geezers." John told him, crossing his arms and looking at the locker Zack was hiding in.

"_You're _controlled by them, bro! Shawn's got you wrapped around his pinkie as if he were your daughter!" Zack answered, making John frown.

"Now _that's_ a completely different situation, Zack!" John yelled back at him, pouting as his feelings were hurt.

Zack rolled his eyes at the older's antics, then froze as Shawn Michaels and Triple H walked into the locker room.

"Johnny Boy, have you seen Zacky?" Shawn asked, looking all around the room.

John thought on the pros and cons of ratting Zack out, then shook his head and shrugged. "Haven't seen him since you guys attacked AJ with the dolls." He answered, making Shawn smile.

"That was a good one. Kaitlyn loved that one especially." Shawn told him, making John smile.

"I bet. What is up with those two, anyways?" John asked, making both Shawn and Hunter stare at him incredulously. "What?"

"Dude, do you not know what's been going on with those two for a while?" Hunter asked, stepping closer to John and placing a hand on his forehead. "Maybe you're getting sick or something."

John swatted Hunter's hand away, then looked to Shawn for an answer. "AJ and Kaitlyn aren't friends anymore, John. AJ screwed Kaitlyn over and now Kitty got her revenge."

John only nodded, not really wanting to hear anything else, and asked, "What do you want Zack for, anyways?"

Now Hunter wrapped his giant arm over John's shoulders, pulling him close. "We're going to make him smile again, Johnny Boy!"

"Uh-huh," John nodded slowly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Are you going to do something completely over the top like kidnap him and take him away to some random kiddie park for him to smile?"

"What?!" Shawn dragged out, voice high-pitched. "We would _never_ do something so cliché!" He smacked John's chest, then turned around, scratching the back of his neck.

"That's what you had planned, wasn't it?" John asked, eyes closed as he asked for the strength to deal with the older men.

"Not at all!" Hunter gasped this time, which made John pinch the bridge of his nose and shake his head.

"You two are hopeless..." John mumbled, then grabbed his bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. "I don't want anything to do with you and your stupidity. I do _not_ feel like getting fired by Vince."

With that the leader of the Cenation left, leaving Hunter shaking his head as Hunter pouted. "We're not _always_ doing stupid stuff, right?" Shawn asked, to which Hunter nodded.

"Not at all, Shawn. It's just that we're funner than most people here." Hunter explained, then turned around as he swore he heard something from the lockers. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, Hunter?" Shawn asked as Hunter stalked towards the locker, relatively close to where Zack was hiding. "Maybe you _are_ getting old..."

"I am _not_ getting old!" Hunter quickly jumped at Shawn, making the older cower back.

"Scary devil! Scary devil!" Shawn yelped, holding up his hands as his forefingers formed a kind of cross.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever." Hunter bit back, waving his hand disinterestedly as he turned to the door. "Quit your religious mumbo-jumbo and let's go. We have a Ryder to hunt down."

"Okay." Shawn immediately perked up at the notion of hunting down their 'target' of the day, jumping ahead of Hunter as they left the room.

A few more seconds passed and Zack stepped out of his hiding place, breathing in deeply. "Never. Again." He growled as he threw a candy wrapper from his hair, deciding that he would _never_ look at Brodus Clay the same way again.

"Oh, well. At least they won't bother me any time soon." Zack mumbled to himself, fishing his Ipod and earphones from his pocket. "Time for some Carly Rae."

* * *

"Where did you find this, Hunt?" Shawn gasped as he stared up in awe.

"Just lying around..." Hunter shrugged, arms crossed as he mumbled to the side, "In some military base we shouldn't know about." Shawn turned to tell him something, but Hunter quickly jumped up the side of the vehicle, climbing to the top, "Want to see inside?"

Shawn quickly forgot what he was about to ask and smiled brightly, nodding wildly as he grasped Hunter's hand, and was then hoisted up by the bigger man.

"Isn't this cool? Our very own tank!" Shawn exclaimed, eyes wide as Hunter opened the top.

"Wanna go inside? I'm sure this puppy has a full tank o' gas!" Hunter told him, to which Shawn nodded rapidly.

"Hecks yeah!"

With that both men jumped inside, Shawn looking around the inside of the tank giddily as he grabbed hold of the steering stick... thingy.

"And forward we go!" Shawn yelled, propelling the tank forward as Hunter smirked evilly.

"Hey, how about I drive and you go up front? Just so you can see how much fun we're spreading?" Hunter asked, moving to sit down where Shawn was.

"Sure thing, Hunt!" Shawn jumped up from his seat and let Hunter grab hold of the steering thing, then climbed up the hatch and watched giddily as many people ran around and away from the tank, screaming and laughing.

Well, they were just screaming, but in Shawn's mind, everyone was happy to see a tank that was capable of protecting them from the evil Real Americans.

Then, the one person he never wanted to see in a tank's path was what he saw.

"Go away, Zack! Go AWAY!" Shawn yelled as Hunter laughed giddily inside of the tank, eyes closed as he completely ignored whatever Shawn was saying.

But Zack Ryder was too busy listening to pop music that was way too loud, completely oblivious to the destruction around him.

"Go away!"

He never did move.

**So? What did you think? **

**I'm going to be writing about different wrestlers and their misadventures with DX and Walmart and if you have any superstar you want to see or any specific setting, please tell me so. PM or review.**

**Please review.**


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